This is all part of our "torture foreplay". This won't stop until I am beaten and crushed. Then we will have sex, and I will feel normal again. Who am I kidding? There's no laughing. There's no changing. There's only this dysfunction, it's a well-oiled machine.

It's hard to describe the seering pain. If there is a hell, I am in it. Mind, body and spirit seering fire, burning pain.. broken body, heart, hopeless, helpless, praying for death

This is our foreplay.

Is there a prize for the sickest relationship? Do we win?