My T keeps her phone off and in her purse during sessions. Marriage counselor, as I've discussed before, has his in his pocket with the sound on. He generally gets at least one text and/or phone call per session, and he says he "just has to look at the number." Which I find to be distressing as well. A few times, he's said he has to look "Because he has an emergency brewing." And then anytime he looks at his phone in those sessions, I'm expecting him to have to leave. He's also answered the phone twice, both fairly recently, when the same number called twice in a row (he said it was his family's signal for an emergency, but I believe at least one was a client).
I know his wife has serious health issues, plus he has two teenage kids, so I get why he'd have to look to see if it's one of them (or his wife's health worker) calling. A few months ago, I brought up the fact that his looking at his phone bothered me--I think it was after he answered the call. I said that I would understand if it was family, because that's a priority. But if it was another client, that bothered me, because it was like he was putting that client above me and H while we were sitting right in his office. He said part of why he had to check is that he works with some high-risk teens, including consulting on some cases around the country, so it could be one of those (and he wouldn't recognize those numbers).
I was hoping that he'd change how he handled the phone after that, at least on days that there wasn't "an emergency brewing," but he hasn't. I think he got like 5 texts during our last session, which was a particularly sensitive conversation at points. He said that one of them was just his daughter saying what time her band practice was. It seems to me that he could maybe at least tell family members/friends NOT to text him with non-emergency stuff while he's in session. Like e-mail him, or leave him an office voicemail or something. But I'd feel weird suggesting that.
As a client, I try hard to avoid texting him when I think he could possibly be in session (he has odd hours some days) and would only call his office phone during work hours, since he does have that on DND, so I can leave a message without potentially disrupting another client's session. It would be nice if other clients did the same, but I doubt he'd ever tell them that. I know he tries to be there for everyone when they need it, which I appreciate in some ways. Like, I guess if I was in a really horrible place
, then it's good to know he'd answer the phone (and to call twice), even if he's in session. (While I don't know if my T checks messages/texts between clients, so not sure how long it would take to reach her.) But I still think knowing that isn't quite worth the feeling I get every session when he glances at his phone. Because it interrupts the flow of the session and takes his mind off whatever we're talking about, even if only for a few seconds.
So, MusingLizzy, I definitely get it. The yawning part wouldn't bother me, because sometimes people end up yawning *because* they're listening intently and aren't breathing deeply enough. Or could just be tired. MC has certainly yawned during session, but I'm actually not sure that T ever has (or else she's been really good at hiding it). But the nail filing? Neither have done that, and that would *definitely* bother me. And definitely the typing on her laptop. I think you should try talking to her about it again...Hugs.