Quote:
Originally Posted by retro_chic
So after I came home from my session last night I cried for about 2 and a half hours. Every time I'd think I was done more tears would come. I still don't really understand what's going on with me but I'm finally feeling a little bit better. I don't think I've ever suffered any kind of trauma or anything like that so why do I have all these issues? My parents are very loving and supportive but I have often felt there was some sort of "misattunement". I feel as though my feelings are wrong like my mum often says "don't be ridiculous" when I'm freaking out about something and I don't always get the sort of comfort that I need. I have often felt that I was not good enough for my parents. I don't know how to explain it. It sounds so trivial and it doesn't seem like a good enough explanation for this "void".
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Emotional neglect due to consistent or unpredictable misattunement = you aren't seen accurately, heard accurately, validated and unconditionally accepted for who you are as a child growing up. In my opinion, parents can be loving while totally missing out what you need, misattuning in terms of emotional connection and not repairing the little cracks and rifts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterbear
I sent you a PM the other day, I don't know if you saw it. To quote my T "it doesn't matter if it is right or wrong, whether what happened was 'bad enough' or not, it isn't about that, it just is, for you."
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I fully agree. Emotional neglect is so painful for me partly because there's this emptiness...this ache that's always there, always simmering. Maybe you know something is wrong, but not what because it's omission (missing out on attunement, acceptance, being seen and heard accurately) rather than acts of commission.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennster
Have you ever read the book Running on Empty? It's about how not getting the comfort you need as a child can hurt you as an adult.
I am sorry you are in so much pain.
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I highly recommend this book too
