I'm on 5 mg of Lexapro, down from 10 which I took for 10 years and I think it may have pooped out. Four weeks ago, they switched to Rexulti since Ability was having some weight issues so I stopped taking it. I was never on an antipsychotic until this August. Abilify was pretty good at first but I did start to get akathisia and the weight gain was bad. No weight gain on Rexulti but it's giving me what I think are some of the worst experiences in my life.

The first week I had a lot of anxiety but I rode it out and the second and third weeks were close to good. But last week, wisdom tooth removal and an early doctor's appointment screwed up my sleep schedule (I'm a night owl with no full time job, so 6:30-3 pm is what usually works best).

Since taking Rexulti with Lexapro this week at night was making me so restless and feeling I was crisis mode, my PA said to take them at two separate times. I took Lexapro last night and was having a good morning until I took the Rexulti.

I felt I was back in the absolute worst phases of the major depression I had 20 years ago. Nothing would bring me enjoyment and I felt not myself. I always feel I'm an alternate universe when I take the Rexulti but if I fall asleep, I sleep long and it's okay. I felt so completely off, then my partner called and said he might not be home for lunch and instead of saying "okay," I burst out crying uncontrollably. The amount of devastation over something so minor is so totally unlike me. I've cried uncontrollably three times since taking it today. Every hour that goes by the affect of it is lower and lower and I feel more familiar. I'm always looking forward to the time of day that's furthest from the Rexulti.

I'm not going to stop it cold turkey but I don't think it's right for me. I soldiered on through four weeks and it's getting worse and worse. My solace is knowing that one day I'll be on the right med. I'm diagnosed bipolar, mixed/"moderate" not "severe" and am likely bipolar II (never had mania) and fit all of the signs.

Since depression is a greater struggle for me than hypomania, I keep thinking there may be something out there that can help me. I've never really been on a mood stabilizer like Lamictal, Depakote, Lithium, etc. and hope to one day try Lamictal since it sounds like it could be what I need. I was fine on 10 mg Lexapro for 10 years then a bad bout of insomnia led to a mixed hypomanic episode (first in my life), which led to Abilify, which led to Rexulti which is just awful.

I really hope that I'm not just this messed up as I'm feeling right now and love hearing stories of everyone else's success. I called my doctor and I know I can't take 0.5 Rexulti ever again especially not with holidays coming up. I need to start tapering off ASAP and figure out a backup plan to stablize. I also need an anti depressant that works since Lexapro isn't doing what it used to.

Has anyone else with BP2 had bad experiences on anti-psychotics? My sister had reactions to Geodon so horrible she had to be hospitalized, Risperdal was weird for her, but then Zyprexa was good though she gained weight and ultimately Seroquel worked.

Thanks for listening.

Brian