You know what, I reckon the outside real world stuff you are all dealing with is enough to make anyone want to crawl into their head and never come out. I am so sorry that your country - wherever it is - doesn't look after its people and you have to live like this. it sounds so so so so hard. That's a heck of a lot of stress to carry. and that's only the stuff on the outside!!
I hope veda and you and everyone else find a way to be okay.