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She was highly dependent on me for everything
during the last 3-4 years the marriage was unbearable
we had a terrible sex life and she was emotionally unstable and and selfish. She always put me last and couldn't make me happy. She wasn't understanding at all and irrational.
She isolated me from my friends, family and even co workers.
She wanted to be with me and wanted me all to her self.
I was actually afraid of her most of the time
she would argue, fight, mistreat me most of the time
i was always walking on eggshells.
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These are some serious problems that should be addressed otherwise there's no indication that any of this will be any different in the future if the two of you get back together.
I think your wife would benefit greatly from individual therapy. And before actually getting back together I would first go to couples' counseling.
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Most guys around me are afraid about their girl cheating on them or had a bad past or are in it for the wrong reasons but I didnt have any of those problems with her.
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So in other words, based on the fear of possible future events, such as being cheated on, which are unknown, you would rather go back to what is predictable, even if unbearable?
I understand that you feel guilty for leaving the relationship while she is depressed, but honestly, you won't be able to alleviate her depression now any more than you could in the past.
I'm so sorry you're in this situation. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees in life either way, whether you stay or go.
I sincerely wish you the best of all possible outcomes.