It may just be that its not time for you yet, and that is OK. I was a virgin until I was 21. I didn't say I wasn't, I just said I wasn't ready. If the guy didn't respect that, it was their loss.
Stick to your guns and when you're ready, you'll know it. I had my first pap at 16 because they were putting me on birth control to help regulate my cycles. It was scary but I did it. They always say to relax but I'd like to meet a woman who can during one of those.
Be easy on yourself and take your time.