I'm sorry Mona - your T gave away the book you gave her as a gift , did she not ? Deep down we DO know that it's not working and not good for us. It's like we keep putting money in a slot machine hoping it's going to pay out. Did you read the thread on leaving the abusive T ? I had to walk away from a 25 year friendship - it's difficult and I'm still grieving it , but it had become a lot like my relationship with my Mother ( and I did not want a replacement Mother , or at least anyone like my Mother ). I know how difficult it is Mona , but it's nearly a New Year which is a good time to try something new and different and tell ourselves we're going to break those old patterns now and move on with our lives. Hugs as always.