Being in lust and being in love are not the same thing, and I would doubt your father or grandfather ever spent much time pondering sexual pursuits. And as far as "alpha male" is concerned, the goal of a right-minded man does not include taking a woman as some kind of hostage.

As has been suggested, just return to or remain who and what you are and mean to be -- Be true to yourself -- and then watch for opportunities to share a coffee or tea or whatever until you meet someone moving along at a familiar pace while being true to herself and not driven or pulled around by the vain or foolish imaginations of others.