My current bf and I got into a conversation several days ago, which has had me thinking ever since. As we talked, I admitted to him that I don't **feel** love towards anyone. I love my daughters, but, that's honestly about it. I don't think that I ever loved my ex-hub, ex-bf's, etc.

He then asked if I ever thought that I am able to fall in love with someone. (blank stare) Uhhhh _____ I don't know. How can I know the answer to a question like that if I haven't ever felt "love" before?

I don't feel love towards my any of my family members, friends (well, I don't have any IRL). I think that this topic came up once before, shortly after my ex-bf and I first got together....but it's been like, 7 years or so since last time spent thinking. My family tries to get together every now and then and act like we're all happy and normal, and it disgusts me. Really! They trigger me. I can barely stand being with them at all, much less put on some stupid show pretending to feel (whatever). That is NOT me! That triggering is exactly why I've had to pull myself away from seeing and talking with them to begin with, several years ago, because they drive me crazy. I probably sound like a complete POS for talking the way that I am towards my family, but, I have my reasons. I am an adult now, and I should not have to keep playing their show when I never liked it to begin with. Right?

But, no one else seems to understand. (Other than my T ~ but he's not hanging around either) My bf, and other people don't understand where I'm coming from at all. They seem to think that I'm blowing things out of proportion "We all have nutty families" and I feel as though they are rolling their eyes at me.

Am I crazy? Am I mean and sick for not showing the love? WTH is wrong with me? I don't get it!!