Mona, I'm so sorry your T was and is still so hurtful. I agree with Waterbear, you deserve better than a relationship which causes you so much pain and suffering. You deserve so, so, much better. You deserve a therapist who strives to be a good therapist, and is a good therapist like how you strive with your own clients.

I agree with Out There that this intermittent random goodness from your T mixed with so much hurt is hard to break away because one keeps hoping like playing a slot machine.

Should you decide to leave this beloved but harmful T, I'm sure we at PC will do what we can to support you *hugs*