Quote:
Originally Posted by Echos Myron
I couldn't agree more with Anthropologize. Why on earth did she ask you to think about it then shame you when you tried to tell her what your thoughts were?
Her telling you he looks like George Clooney is all kinds of wrong. As Anthropologize says, she's not even keeping to her own boundary which has to be confusing and painful for you. Secondly she knows you experience feelings of jealousy, and she is fueling that. Thirdly, the comparison is highly subjective and serves only to send your imagination wild. Showing you a picture would have been kinder than that. I find myself asking, what is she getting out of telling you that? It seems like mind games.
It really sounds like she's not handling her own stuff well here at all. As another poster said in a different thread, it is the client's job to test the boundaries and the therapist's job to contain them. If that doesn't happen, it is the fault of the therapist, not the client.
Be kind to yourself rainbow. Your therapist has displayed inconsistent and confusing boundaries, I know from experience just how painful that is.
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Thank you, Echos. I didn't think of it as her shaming me, but perhaps that's what it was. I am always quick to blame myself so it's a new way of looking at it to realize my T may have messed up, not me! I do want to add that at the end of the session I said something about wondering if her bf was cute, and that's when she said the George Clooney bit. I don't know why she told me that. I guess she's not the perfect T after all, but she's good enough.