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<font color="green"> Dear Mouse,
This is a hard situation. I don’t know how much your friendship with this woman means to you. Is it valuable enough to fight for?
I do get where you are coming from, it is as if you thought she was a good mom and found out that she had slapped her child once or twice before she learned better and she is still spanking on occasion.
It seems that you took her remarks personally – i.e. as if she was telling you that you should be kept in your place. I don't think that from what you say in your postings. It is normal for relationships to change, to ebb and flow. I have had friends whose opinion on some issue caused me to withdraw, but generally, we need to accept that no one is going to feel exactly the same way about all issues as I do or as you do. We have to learn to let others think the way they do and accept that there are some areas where there is not any right or wrong just differences. Like roses, a red rose is a rose and so is a yellow one a rose.
Walking away from others because they do not meet our internal set of measurements is not healthy, but it is a common reaction from those who have experienced attachment issues growing up. One mistake and they are off my friend list! No, we want to be accepted with all our faults and we need to find ways to extent that acceptance to others. An infant learns that mom can be displeased with her but still love her; the relationship is not over but rather strengthened by the little breaks. Trust is so hard.
Tc and be patient with yourself and with the process, it will get better and easier some day. You are doing grand, keep on keeping on.
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__________________
dalila
Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere.
-Erma Bombeck
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