None of your advice has been tossed away. I flip flop on a dime. I am sickly dependent on this man's treatment of me for my mood. This dysfunction is a well-oiled machine twenty years in operation.

We went to the therapist last night. I was saying I want out when we are through co-parenting, and I am just biding my time. But, he and the therapist reminded me that I turn on a dime. As soon as my husband acts like a normal, sexual man again, I go back to wanting the marriage.

And it is him playing his part without a doubt. He admits it.

The T was disappointed in me. He was hoping we'd leave his office with a positive plan to not try to have sex at all and just act like a family and enjoy being together for a while. I told him I was sorry I disappointed him. I'll put on a nice face while my boys are home from school, but I don't want to be here.

I can't imagine putting myself on a dating site now! I'm imagining what I'd write, oh dear lord! Match.com would no doubt pair me up with my own husband! There's no way I would want to start dating those 70 + year old men who would be the ones who would even consider dating me!