(((((((((((((((((( ww ))))))))))))))))))))))

thank you so much. i can't talk to him about his evil past. he doesn't remember it or remembers himself as a good person. he's been a severe alcoholic and has some kind of mental illness (i'm guessing sociopath. t guesses that too). it would do me no good. i would just be discounted again.

i went to see him for one reason and one reason only...so "I" will have no regrets...not one. my seeing him is taking care of self really. i want no regrets. what if he wants to apologize or say something meaningful? i don't want to miss that chance. however, i don't expect him to do that either.

i guess...bottom line...i'm going to heal and seeing him has absolutely dissolved my PTSD fears of him. when i would have flashbacks, i would see the "then" him. now, i see a sick, old man that the wind could blow over. i no longer panic when his name is mentioned or i see something on t.v. the fear is gone. there is still alot of pain associated...and hurt. those i can work on. i was stuck tho when i felt so much fear. does that make sense? lol

thank you again friend.

be safe,

kimmydawn