Long time no see people. I was active here about a year ago but I just dropped off the face of the world in part because I became homeless and because I just didn't care to try to get better anymore. I withdrew from everybody and lived my life in relative solitude because I truly thought I wasn't good enough for anybody beings that I had nothing to offer. I just assumed everybody was out for themselves like always and I shouldn't give a damn about other people because humans are self serving fools who don't care about anything that doesn't benefit them.

Without going into too much detail, my step father that was supporting me had a heart attack and could no longer work so he had the house foreclosed and went to stay with his parents. Beings that I don't get along with his parents well at all (in part because they are hardcore Christians who think some of the video games I play and Animes I watch are Satanic and I am an Agnostic Atheist), I opted to live in a storage unit with a laptop and smartphone with a tethered data so I can have my precious video games and what not and donated plasma to pay for food and my phone bill and pretty much lived off Taco Bell and Mcdonalds for their free wifi and cheapness... pathetic I know haha

Then out of utter amazement, somebody showed me some compassion. I was obtaining services from a mental health center where I live and I got approved for a short term (1 year) housing grant that is helping me pay for rent and utilities (I just have to pay for things like food, phone, and internet) but at least for the first time in my life, I have an apartment of my own which is a huge step for me.

However, life is still a struggle for me. I am still having a hard time functioning in society and doing things such as hold down a regular job, making friends, or as you already figured meeting women. I have trouble managing stress and handling the many responsibilities when it comes to being an adult. I want to work for myself but I don't have a lot of money to invest and I'm having such a difficult time concentrating that it's a challenge for me to even do anything. I'm thinking about starting an SSI application next week after Christmas so I at least have a backup plan in case I still can't obtain a stable income by the time this grant I'm on ends and I'll be going to get my medical records myself but doing so is triggering for me because of all of the hell I had to deal with regarding the mental health system in my past.

On top of everything else I feel lonely having an apartment all to myself and having nobody with me especially since I don't have a car and I can't freely get around without relying on the busses which are slow here.

So I welcome any advice from any old or new faces alike and I hope everybody is well!