Well it is common practise today that both men and women attend those things once only in the domain of 'gals' or 'pals'. Men attend wedding showers and women attend stag parties. It's just the thing now. So, there may be a generation gap here leading him to have his nose out of joint. It likely never even occured to him it was a girls only party.

You did right to end up extending him an invitation.

With that said, it was unfortunate that this whole thing became a mess. You meant well and he should have clearly seen and respected that. It was incredibly crass of him and your daughter-in-law not to show up at all; and, even worse, that they not inform you in advance.

I encourage you to gather up your courage and say something about this. "We missed you, was everything okay?"

This could be an indicator of trouble in their paradise. Hopefully not.