Granite, I keep reading and re-reading your post here. Your T means well, but I think you would benefit so very much more from a therapist who has a solid grounding in developmental trauma. There is a lot your T seems to be missing around the profound effects of developmental trauma and how to effectively support a client through them. There are clues she doesn't pick up on (when you dissociate and are attacked by your mother's voice) and things she just doesn't seem to understand (that you don't just 'get over' developmental trauma, and that traumatic attachment bonds are extremely complex).

We started seeing a new therapist about 7 weeks ago. She is a trauma therapist who is experienced with EMDR and structural dissociation. From the very first session we could tell she had a deep understanding of trauma, triggers, and all the effects they have on the nervous system. This lady gets it, and we don't have to tell her. Best of all, she responds quickly and appropriately to us being triggered, and uses tons of different strategies to help us ground and regulate our nervous system.

I think your therapist is helping you, but I also see that there are many things she doesn't do that would help you faster and much more effectively. There are things she is not in tune with, things she is completely oblivious to, things she just doesn't 'get'. And they are things that matter. They are things that are crucial to helping you heal.

I don't think she is harming you.
But I do think there are other therapists out there who have much greater knowledge and insight into the issues you are dealing with, and can help you better.