Someone here, maybe Myst told me that I am not my diagnosis, that is true. You are not your diagnosis, you are a strong and caring person that has been saddled with crap. Don't let it define you.

Things come, they go, they came back even meaner and nastier. It sucks. I feel like Wile E. Coyote walking around with a 10 ton anvil over my head. It is not fun. Now that I am off my anti-depressant and anti-psychotic I can clearly see a cliff ahead of me that will hurt bad when I fall off. That is okay because things will be okayish until then and it is the better times that matter in the long run. I guess that is a benefit to having severe depression over 2 decades, the worst times become a blur that I don't remember much from.

Sorry for mixing up my metaphors and sounding illiterate. Since my antidepressant was my sleep aid, I am on a bunch of sleepy/relaxing supplements and they are kicking in and making me woozy.

Try to have a good night and I will look forward to reading your posts tomorrow as always. I wish I could be more helpful.