So I had my last session with T before the Christmas break. I tried to keep some emotional distance this time because I didn't want to be a mess like last session while T is gone. We did talk about those feelings though and how no one is enough for me. I told T how I had trouble remembering what had led us to that point in the last session. I don't know why but I often have trouble remembering things from session. T commented on this and said something about how I have trouble connecting the different "parts" of me and how that is a way for me to cope with unpleasant emotions. I think this is true but I couldn't explain why.

We also talked about how I feel others can't meet my needs and that I am too needy. T asked me if I think I can meet other's needs and I thought about it for a while and realised the answer is no. I said it feels like there is nothing inside me to give to other people. I feel as though I am both too much and not enough for other people and I am just going through the motions when it comes to any sort of relationship. I also told T that I feel pathetic and like a bad person but I couldn't really explain why. It is like another piece of me that is disconnected from everything else and I don't know where it fits in.

So... what do you call this disconnected/can't remember weird feeling? Where does it come from?