And I don't know if talking about my experience helps you but at the beginning of our marriage, I sort of viewed him with "rose-colored glasses". I mean, I was 23, he was 30--he had big dreams/goals, understood finance/ investing, owned a home, a motorcycle, a BMW and pickup truck, talked about and played powergames at work, was technically savy etc. so, really, he taught me many things. I felt that way for years then started to slowly feel different. Now that I am not as "mad" (but I still have some days where I am)--I realize that there are some areas where he has better judgement than me and others where I am totally right and have so much more understanding about how to best approach an issue. Some of it is that I have become more reflective and he needs to be more reflective but is pigheaded and doesn't get it. He loves me in a more straightforward way and I am more conflicted about it all--especially when he doesn't listen to me about somethings (you know about some but not all of them). So every once in a while we have a real "give and take" conversation and he will acknowledge some small thing that I feel but mostly, his needs are just very straight forward and simple. It feels like he loves me when I love him because he is so responsive when I feel tenderly toward him. And I feel like I have always met his needs (I do what he asks though with varying levels of enthusiasm) and will always have on and off frustrations that he doesn't fully appreciate. It is what it is......<sigh>