Someone has said on here "Don't date potential, find the man you want just as he is." Well, I never found any such animal, they were all just potential. I had a bf who also called me potential, literally. He was an exec in the film industry in LA and felt with me on his arm he would rise to the top. But I wasn't that into him, and that's another story.

When I was marrying my h, his best friend said to me, "What do you want him for, he just watches a lot of TV?" So, there it was right before me, but I also had on rose colored glasses and thought I could groom his potential.

He is a fairly good looking, very clean, mild mannered man. He has a lot of hair, will never go bald. He is brilliant with a great career, makes money. We look good together. We have similar beliefs and tastes. We are good friends together. He even enjoys shopping.

Yes, he is a total TV addict, but he is very easy going and up for anything I suggest we do. Except for the stuff that he doesn't want to do. Like where I want to live, like how I want us to have a dog, etc... There isn't one thing he wanted that he didn't do. He even very frivolously spend a lot of money on a sports car that he hardly even used.

So the sex nightmare began with me getting repulsed and jumping out of bed and it is still happening. He doesn't turn me on. He doesn't know how to turn me on.

This last time that set me off: I was just opening my eyes. He leaps at me having come from the bathroom. I was fine with that and open to the sex. But he is over aggressive to over compensate for his usual overly passive approach. He starts aggressively slobbering in my ear, giving me a Wet Willie. I am trying to relax. I am stroking his hair, his back, trying to get aroused. Then he really aggressively shoves his hands between my legs and strokes me hard. With that I jumped out of bed. Panic attack!

So he acts like he doesn't know what he is doing and is either too gentle or too rough. 50 Shades of S*ck! It's like the movie Groundhog Day, where it is just slightly different, but each time just so forced, fake, and wrong for all eternity.

But then, after I have become hysterical, angry, and SH for hours or days, he is suddenly Casanova. The man knows exactly how to turn me on. He is not fake. He is just the right amount of genuinely passionate. We have great sex. Then like a fool, I am happy and feel normal again. I am Suzy Homemaker cooking and cleaning and waiting on him. I am loving and giving and hopeful of repairing our dysfunction.

Then it starts all over again!