This can be interpreted different ways, im realizing.

Im thinkinh of things that cause a person psin and distress. For example, if someone talks about every session how much pain it causes them to be always losing relationships yet they contribute to the losses, thats where it makes sense to point out their own contributions to this.

Im not thinking of policing, where anything that could be minorly harmful is emphasized. Just things that contribute to emotional distress that is brought up session after session. These are often relational patterns that are not obvious.

I have told my therapist that i wanted to go smoke a joint, for example, theres nothing there that would cause me distress, so hes not going make an issue about that.