shaz...no doubt it is damaging to my mental health...and I'm sure living with me is no picnic either if you remember i have been struggling with alcohol and MENTAL issues. And probably the best "choice" of a partner I have ever made - although, it is not a perfect choice for me.

Bill..I like everything about him except his drug use.
He is like me when it comes to compassion for others and especially the homeless..
He is funny
He is a great caretaker (I watched him care for his sister as she died and he cares very well for his mother).
He doesn't try to change me
He is strong...attractive
He has a wonderful family
He lives with the same mindset I do about shopping carefully and not worrying too much about what others have that we don't have
We very often are thinking about the same things at the same time (to do, or to go or to eat)
He has a side to him that I do not have to me as far as being able to chill out when I am a frigin maniac on high speed most of the time (I was hoping he would level me out)

Its just when he uses drugs...he is different....just like I am different when I abuse alcohol.

However, all that said...the drug addict factor is a BIG thing that should BE a deal breaker for me...because honestly it is destroying me...yes, I have my problems..but that does not mean I have to accept his...and I DID go for an eviction a couple of weeks ago and decided to see how the holiday went and how his "New Years Resolution" will go for a bit before I finally throw in the towel.

I took a a nap! whew...so now I"m going back on what I said about not going with him and his Mom...but I'm going now because I ENJOY going...and being with her too. Or maybe I'm not going...but not because I'm mad at him...but because there might be some other things I want to do...like go get a salad...