Hi Pilarlina,

I agree pretty much with everyone here, and it's a strong call for you to get help urgently.

In the longer term I think it is possible for a violent man to change behaviour, but it would require an honest effort from him, to understand just how abusive his behavior has been and to be honest with a counsellor about his mental state. The drinking is clearly part of his problems, and as others have said, there is deeper stuff in there, fuelling his anger.

It is unlikely that he will change while you are still with him, so a period apart while he gets some counselling would be necessary. Also you have rights of part ownership on the house.

I know it' s hard, but if you want to help him, the best thing you can do is separate from him, at least for a while. He has to take responsibility for what he has done so far, and face up to it for the cowardly behaviour that it is.

I don't know what the statistics are for violent men changing behaviour with the same partner, but I suspect it's pretty low.
Shakes will probably know the answer to that one. In the meantime, as everyone has said here, you need to get yourself out of danger.

I'm really sorry that your relationship has turned out this way.

Good thoughts to you,

Myzen