I'm DX'ed bipolar with anxiety, insomnia, BPD and PTSD. I was diagnosed at 18 and I'll be 30 in may. Throughout my whole 20's I was a substance abuser and rarely took my psych meds. My drug of choice was always alcohol though I'd take anything you gave me. I had no idea the psychological damage I was doing to my MI by self medicating and not taking my psych meds regularly. Well I quit drinking may 2015 (i still drink only once a month or longer). I was up to 20+ beers a day at only 97lbs. Also I just quit a four year suboxone addiction this past August.

Well now that I'm sober (for the most part), my moments of stability are far and few between. I've been on so many med combos that I'm about to just give up on it. How is it that I felt better when i was self medicating?? At least when I was drinking I was sleeping good. Now I'm so tightly wound up from anxiety and irritability that it drains me and everyone around me. I snap at my bf at the drop of a hat etc.

I know this feeling is expected after being freshly sober but it's not letting up. I seem to be getting worse.