The problem with getting sober for me was having to feel and live through my episodes without self-medicating. I have just over a year sober right now, but I fought for that year for over 3 years. My automatic reaction to upset, depression, mania - LIFE - has almost always to pick up that drink or drug to cover it up. I agree with Moogieotter - you just have to power through it. Finding someone you trust to talk you through is something that helped me a lot. Hope things get better for you.