I don't think I have ever been this depressed and lonely before. The only thing I've been making sure I do, is make sure my best friend, my cat Gratzi, has everything she needs. I don't know whether to feel sad or pathetic, because my cat gives me more love than any person ever has. I am greatful for her company, but it would be nice to have feminine companionship that doesn't call me ugly or just want to use me.