I know that I am beyond being helped at this point, but at least you care enough to want to help somebody like me and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I have already accepted that I have been without light and love in my life for too long to ever be accepted or loved by any "good" human being. I am a creature of darkness; a shell of my former self. The only light I will ever be able to bring to another humans life will originate from darkness.

The shadows shield me from harm in this scary world. The darkness is my one and only lover and the empty void is my only solace.

I'm done even trying to change; I accept what the hell I have endured has evolved me into. I am like that species of fish that evolved those ugly eyes and features on it's face in order to live in an area in the ocean with no natural sunlight; I am an ugly, bitter, hateful person on the inside who doesn't know what beauty looks and feels like.

I will use that ugly darkness in order to at least do something meaningful in this life so people will love me for something even if I may never feel truly close to another human being ever again.

The void calls for me.