I'm dealing with the same stuff. Since my bf and I got together three years ago, I made him my world. That's what I do in relationships. I'm very codependent in every relationship. Friends will text and invite me over and right away I think of an excuse. When I'm around anyone else i feel my wall go up and i disconnect and count the time till they leave. I've been like this for ten years now. My bf also works third shift so I'm always alone all day and night. Sometimes I'm so bored I get my hands on substances to escape my mind numbing boredom (please don't judge me. I know it's wrong). Sorry I sound like such a downer. Just being real.