It's healthy for us to vent plus being aware of your feelings is good. I think some of my own self-made trauma could have been prevented if I had taken the time to examine my feelings or at least think through things before acting. From what I have gathered, part of your problem is isolation--that is a very real problem. It hits those of us who crave hugs and social interaction especially hard. And you may have a chemical imbalance that might eventually require medication if you find you are having a hard time functioning/achieving as you should at your age. So, I still REALLY think you belong here or you wouldn't be here all of the time (like I am ).