posted last december by me ...

I really think I am going thru a second childhood ... quite by accident I found a music group with video's that I just fell in love with ... not only did it lift my depression but for the first time in a long time I began feeling happy ... and I have starting enjoying music from my youth again ... I find myself drawn to interests I had 40 years ago ... for all intents and purposes I have become obsessed with these ... and I also am beginning to become emotional ... I cry at sappy movies, over video's , I become sad when I can not be super dad and solve his 16 year old problems ... my moods are on the edge ... as I want them to be ... enough med to be in control , not enough to deaden my feelings ...
For the first time in my life I am feeling .... I never understood why others teared up or got so sad over things ... not depressed been there ... just sad ... an emotion ... My T said I had an "emotionally neglected childhood" .. I think she was right ... they are so new to me they upset me .. I am not sure how to handle them ... I believe my meds have for the first time let this side of me come out ...
I expect these holidays to be over whelming ... I do not want to up the meds and deaden myself again ... I can handle the slight ups and downs of day to day ... but this is my first alone time with these wonderful scary feelings ...

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this was posted last christmas and I am still with my "girls" , not quite so obsessed but still clinging on ... and they will get me thru this holiday season again ...

...during this stressful time of year I just want to remind each and everyone of you that you are thought of every day ... cared about ... and loved .... You would be missed and we feel sorrow whenever you are hurting ... take sollace this holiday ... if all else is stressing you out ... you have a caring friend here ...

Merry Christmas my friends and God bless each and everyone of you ... ... Tigger