I haven't been able to sleep since 4 am. It's 6:45am now. I just want to sleep and forget about my depressing thoughts but they won't go away. I wish I had someone to talk to, but they're all asleep and I don't want to bother them. It's also Christmas Eve so it just feels insensitive to go crying to somebody when they should be happy. I don't know how much longer I can take this. Having thoughts of wanting to disappear or self destructing.