Sorry you are going through this. (((hugs)))

If something is giving you a bad feeling, trust your gut. He betrayed you and broke your trust, and you certainly have the right to still feel the way you do. You definitely deserve better treatment. He cheated more than once, and even though he is saying he's going to change, actions speak much louder than words. He has not proven through his actions that he is ready to change.

Also, don't beat yourself up anymore for something you have done in the past. You don't need to punish yourself. We all learn lessons, but with this guy, he's displaying a very troubling pattern of behavior, and it goes beyond being an isolated incident. Respect yourself and know when to walk away, although it is ultimately your choice. He's proven to be someone different than what you want him to be. I really wish you luck. I understand it must be very hard, and you are going through a lot of mixed emotions, but it's a process to come to terms with this.