Wounded here too....

Narcissistic injury is the same as having a caregiver who wasnt good enough, its the same as attachment trauma because you have lingering affects into adulthood.

In my therapy, i feel rejected when i express affection and loving feelings for my therapist. Or anything he does, really, that impacts how i feel about myself, eg, feel like im being abandoned, etc.

But in repeating that over and over, working through it, your sense of self starts to solidify. Im not there yet, but my psychological boundaries, sense of self are much stronger. The change is dramatic because you start to know and see what stuff comes from you and what comes from the other person. For example, when someone at work tries to devalue me, it doesnt affect me that much because i can see it comes from their need to be seen as valued or whatever. Its easy with nonsignificant relationships though, but for the most part, you start to not be affected by other peoples judgment of you. The triggers to feeling shame are gone. Its not an intellectual thing, however, but that sense of 'knowing' that IDIMW posted on a recent thread. Others have talked about that here as well.

In attachment relationships, like with my therapist, it is much harder because of the regression and intense maternal transference, but the interaction with someone who is healthy and doesnt enmesh with you and gently confronts defense mechanisms is what integrates the parts, strengthening your sense of self. I think its complete when you can fully seperate from your therapist. Thats when you start to rebuild.

I write sometimes about projection, introjection, and enmeshment if you want to search some of my threads. Those are concepts related to what you said, "part of me". That is from young, preverbal trauma. I had a lot of that too, as it comes out in body memories that have no other way to express themselves (no words, cognitive reference, or picture memories). You mentioned the lack of memories-they surface as body memories when the regression is triggered by your therapist. The maternal transference and not getting everything you need from your therapist allows the body memories to surface. Its been freeing for me.

I feel like in my therapy, im currently going through the separation individuation phase, where im becoming a separate person from my therapist. Thats related to a big rupture we had. Any 'unenmeshment', where my therapist steps away from me in a sense, causes destabilization, but that is because your psyche is restructuring. I dont know all the formal terms for this stuff, but am convinced this is how it works.

I have to be honest and say i truly think therapy with a psychoanalyst is what it takes for that kind of structural change.

Hope this helps.