Last Saturday I went to our family Christmas dinner, a black tie affair. I'm always nervous. I had a few bourbons and several Ativans. I had made it 14 months sober with a trip to Hazelden rehab last Christmas. I'm a recovering alcoholic and have worked very hard on my recovery this year....zillions of AA meetings so I am very disappointed in myself. But I have not had another drink. My son was very angry with me. We left before I made a fool of myself. I can't believe I drank, I'm a failure. It was the one thing I was good at, not drinking, now I have lost again.