I have always been that way with romantic relationships too! They Used to be my world it's all I cared for. molding into whatever I thought they wanted in a girlfriend. If he's a punk rocker so am I, if he's a gang banger so am I. That's my most recent past. It's the lack of acknowledging my own identity or just not understanding who I am as person without trying to please others or avoid being ridiculed.

Since DBT and a very rocky, rewarding and self growing type of romantic relationship I learned a lot about myself. My 5 year live in boyfriend and I are moving into separate houses. We will continue dating it's our last resort option before total break up.

I will live alone with my 6 cats and 3 cat outdoor colony so I'm in great company. I have two very close friends and my family to talk to I won't be in total isolation. I work 50 hours a week at a job I love.

I still have bpd and struggle but I try to stay positive as much as possible!

We all seem to feel similarly which is why I know bpd is so misunderstood. We are people pleasers and have very thin skin when we fail to please or hurt another person and we can never make every single person like us that also hurts. I know the majority of people with bpd don't purposely hurt others if anything we just try way too hard to get others to love us and our fearful way of living creates a self fulfilled prophecy of abandonment by people.