Visiting you sounds great. I am the full time caregiver for my mother who has severe dementia: hallucinations, delusions, and bouts of anger and violence. I cannot find respite care. Seeing my mother this way takes allot out of me as does my 24 hour seven day a week care. She was hitting me today.

I am thinking of having my daughter spell me for a day. I need to regenerate my energy and psychological wellbeing. I can separate myself from her by spending time out back on the patio. I can stop skipping her optional AP. I can start exersizing in some way. I am thinking of placement for my mother, but no facility wants her due to sundowning and violence. I currently have hospice helping me out through visitations to the home for specific services like bathing my mother.

I need to consider my mental health. I am about ready to lose it. My neighbor watches my mother for short errands like shopping. I pay her for this. She is turning out to be unreliable. This also stresses me out. Without mental stability, where will I be? Where would my mother be without me being able to cope? My emotions are on a roller oaster ride. I wish I can get off of this ride. I believe I have been functioning most of this year at a much higher level than that I should be able to expect from myself.

Tucson