no worries mouse. i just want people's opinions and i need them to be very aware of how poorly i am doing. i don't see anything wrong with what you said.

i don't even need plans really. just the truth that it would be ok. it can't be made up.

we have things, personal qualities in common. That was what i was saying... it's pretty much all i ever have in common with people i am friends with. maybe you're right... maybe he wouldn't want to be my friend. He does like me, that i know, i believe him.

that year rule isn't really a rule... it is in some places but not in many from what i understand. A lot of T's and boards, etc just straight out feel it's inappropriate... just whether they enforce that or not varies. i mean, even he admitted than many T's would have a cow over him saying that yes, as a person, he liked me.

i don't want to date him. i don't want to go on joint family vacations. i don't want to be invited to every xmas party. i just want to know he is my friend. i want to know that someday, afterwards, that i could ask him to grab a coffee and have him say yes. It's as simple as that.

i don't like rules that i feel are created for everyone because some people are very vulnerable or not competant. i'm smart enough to respect boundaries in general relationships. i'm not going to call him up randomly and impose myself on his dinner guests or 3 yrs from now demand therapy from my "friend." That's what the rules are for i think... but i would hope there would be exceptions when the T feels mutual about friendship...