My mother was here last night, i had such a hard time being around her. Felt like i wanted to get away from her.

Meanwhile, i kept having vivid fantasies of my therapist sitting on the sofa and chair where my mother kept sat on and off throughout the night.

He replaced her. When i had the fantasies, he was sitting there engaging with everyone, and i had an incredibly strong pull to go over and snuggle with him, lean on his shoulder.

I survived this far, the hard part is over.