Quote:
Originally Posted by kecanoe
And as it relates to therapy, I have a part that was very angry, very defiant, hostile. When t1 encountered her, he didn't freak out or confront or back away. He was just curious. His curiousity rather than fear or condemnation was amazing to me, and allowed that part to deal with some of her stuff. She became cooperative instead of rebellious. And she is now very helpful to me and to the therapy process. I experienced that as unconditional positive regard. He believed that she had a useful purpose and that she was doing the best she could to be helpful.
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Thank you for this. I have had the very same experience, with more than one part. The first time, I was not in any kind of agreement with my therapist and had expected her/wanted her to be on my side in dealing harshly with them, but her approach--the acceptance and understanding, not judgement and punishment--proved to be the thing that helped me get there myself in working with those parts.
Maybe some of this is the difference between an authoritarian clinical setting and a private setting, which at least has more chance of finding a humanistic type therapist.