I appreciate it So and Isolated. I'm feeling very tired and old. My one Xmas wish to not wake up this morning, obviously didn't come. I am so tired of being the nice guy and paying for it with solitude and emptiness. Each day that passes without seeing my daughters destroys a piece of what little I have left.

I often ask myself why I be a kind, loving and giving person. It has gotten me nowhere. For once in my life, it would be nice to have the one and only thing that would make me feel warm and know that my kindness is meaningful.

My cat is great. But, it would mean everything to have a tangible person that cares. I have never felt that. I sincerely hope everyone on here is having a better holiday than I am. No one should be alone, crying, and wondering what they've done wrong, or what makes them so hideous and horrible that makes invisible, unless someone needs something.