We are in quite the pickle right now

First the meds: Prozac 20mg, Lamictal 400 mg.

Started AD's for depression with Welbutrin years ago that made us loopy...so stabilizers. We were experiencing ultradian cycling and switching. We ended up on the small maintenance dose of Prozac because it didn't ruin our sex drive. We can't do a bigger dose without freaking out.

Without the AD...we basically are depressed with moments of excitedness.

Today though, we are experiencing mood changes through switching from Others or their feelings are bleeding through, so much that we don't feel like the meds are helping.

As far as psych help we lost our pdoc....we have none anymore because our job insurance doesn't cover mental health. To get help, we need to lose our job to get back on medicad....but the bills have to be paid while our son still lives with us.

We are still moody though.... The thinking of AD induced bipolar...is it really bipolar? Of course all this mood cycle and switching dx was before the multiple thing- plenty of room for doubt.

Before meds we switched but covertly which is depressing trying to hide ones real self. We were unhappy but everyone around us took it as depression. The guys had to stay out the most being in a man's world, but they are emotionless which also can be taken for depression.

So are we really bipolar? IDK. We really never had proper testing, just 'trial and error' with meds from bottom of the rung social pdocs whose jobs are to sedate the public.

Marijuana causes us to dissociate bad. Our brain shuts down and we are lost.

We are biding our time for proper treatment.....just swells of impatience waiting for that time....like when our son moves on and I am alone again.