I met this girl, and when we were clicking, I was more motivated than ever to chase my dreams, be way more physically appealing, shed my extra body fat, get great grades, everything in my life I wanted to excel at when she was clicking with me.

I see that she's broken. She's extremely shy, and I can just sense how much she's hurting (I'm somewhat of an empath), and I so badly want to fix her and show her how amazing she is, but she refuses to let me in. She shows all signs of interest, but runs when I try engaging with her.

When I broke it off, due to taking her timidness personally and just thinking that I was a complete bother to her more than anything, I cried for 3 weeks straight and couldn't get out of bed. I then numbed myself to her, deleted her number, just tried to convince myself that it was all in my head.

All of my motivation to better myself in the ways I listed and then some was and still is gone.

I know this is a common problem; not being able to better yourself for yourself, but only for someone or something else, but I don't know what it's characterized as. I really need some help as to why this is, what this situation is referred to as, and how I can shift the focus to bettering myself for myself because I believe I deserve it and am worthy.

Thanks in advance, and happy holidays.