Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ42
I appreciate it So and Isolated. I'm feeling very tired and old. My one Xmas wish to not wake up this morning, obviously didn't come. I am so tired of being the nice guy and paying for it with solitude and emptiness. Each day that passes without seeing my daughters destroys a piece of what little I have left.
I often ask myself why I be a kind, loving and giving person. It has gotten me nowhere. For once in my life, it would be nice to have the one and only thing that would make me feel warm and know that my kindness is meaningful.
My cat is great. But, it would mean everything to have a tangible person that cares. I have never felt that. I sincerely hope everyone on here is having a better holiday than I am. No one should be alone, crying, and wondering what they've done wrong, or what makes them so hideous and horrible that makes invisible, unless someone needs something.
|
My circumstances are different but I could have written this myself. Also feeling tired and old, my kindness towards others is rarely reciprocated, I'm unbearably lonely, and if it wasn't for my dog...
I've spent much of this holiday crying. Went to church with a friend, grabbed a bite to eat afterwards, and cried my eyes out all the way home. Today, Christmas Day, went to a movie with that same friend and went out for Italian afterwards, and cried my eyes out all the way home. Partner took his life 2.5 years ago, my parents are gone and my siblings have nothing to do with me. As dysfunctional as my family was, I miss having a family at the holidays. And the cherry on top is losing my job as of January 1 and a toothache that is going to require removal and an implant just as I'm losing my dental insurance. I'm losing all hope, having panic attacks about finances and wouldn't mind not waking up the next day, either.
I'm so sorry your holiday was lousy. Sending you a huge holiday hug. Your daughters have no idea how lucky they are to have a Dad who cares; mine certainly never did.
