Love isn't triggering for me, at least, I don't think it is. I have a boyfriend who loves me very much and treats me wonderful, and I don't know where I'd be without him. True, sometimes I have to "force" myself to open up and receive his love, but he's always there giving it regardless. The real trigger, as you have noted, is the religion that wants to tell me God loves me and yet damn me to hell because after 20+ years of being a complete indiscriminate slut I finally have a man I WANT to be "monogamous" with but since I've already been married twice and am living with him without my divorce being final, it is supposedly "sin" to have a WHOLE relationship (sex included) with him that HE DESERVES for being such a loving and caring person to me. For that alone this supposedly loving, forgiving God has decided I'm worthless garbage to burn in the Lake of Fire. And that's just for starters.

(((((((((esther)))))))))) i'm venting about this here hon, i'm not upset at you though and please don't let it upset you. you are fortunate if your perceptions allow you to find comfort in God that way.