Thanks. I just realized something big from what you said - that's why he married me huh - because he can't deal with his own stuff and he knows i will take it on and try to deal with it for him. Yowza!!! so it's not about me. well it kinda is because i always try to feel his stuff for him.... but it's really all about him. Thank you.

Thank you for always being so kind. You are such a blessing here on PC. I did finally get to sleep last night...

...and dreamed quite an adventure that I am going to turn into a short story. It had mystery and intrigue and stuff that is in no way related to my 'real' life and should be fun to write. in the dream i was more than one of the characters which was cool. i was seeing the story from the point of view of not only a woman who kinda got caught up in a situation she didn't belong in but also a gangster, a man, which was interesting. maybe more animus at work here. that's what t would say. i can't wait to talk to her on wednesday about the email from last week (which will be uncomfortable!) and about this dream and the one about her from saturday night. working on this story will take my mind off of whatever is going on with h. i still don't know but i'm not going to worry about it because if he didn't deem it necessary to speak with me then i obviously don't need to waste any brain cells on it. i'm gonna just be me.

Hugs to all who want them, have a good day couchies!!