I think some T's see it as a boundary. My T was bothered that I Googled her a few weeks ago, saying I'd crossed a boundary. Yes, I found a pic of her H, but he used to work at the same practice as her (he's retired now), so if I'd been going there at that time, I'd know what he looked like anyway. And I did find T's FB page, but it was totally locked down, so I couldn't actually *see* anything.

Meanwhile, when I told my marriage counselor about my Googling him--and finding his wife's FB page (also locked down, but did see a family photo on there), his immediate response was that he forgave me. He was concerned regarding something I could have found about his wife--her sister apparently has a FB page about her, presumably with updates on her health condition (I know a little about that, but not from Googling). But that wasn't what I found.

So he asked me not to go looking around anymore about her, but I get the sense it's more because he's concerned about how finding more info on that would affect me (due to my transference/attachment). Rather than it being his privacy he was concerned about. Which was the sense I got from my T. Like *she* personally felt violated. (She never said she forgave me, incidentally.) Whereas MC was more worried about *my* reaction to finding certain things.

ETA: I have respected his wishes and not Googled him/his wife anymore. I'm thinking of it as, I care about him, so I should respect his wishes. (Even though now I *know* there's something out there to find, which must have lots of info because he's worried about me seeing it.) It helps that he's also open to my asking him anything, though there are certain things he won't answer. But he's good with discussing *why* I want to know, which it seems like your T, Rainbow, is maybe a bit less open to. I didn't feel as comfortable talking to my T about why I wanted to know stuff, because it felt like what I'd done had upset her, like "I'd been bad" (I do have some negative maternal transference toward her at times). MC being forgiving made me feel safer talking about it.

Rainbow, your T seems to be sending very mixed signals, with giving you bits of information (like what he looks like), so I can definitely see where that would make you want to explore more. Out of curiosity, did your parents or others in your life keep lots of secrets from you as a kid? I think that's a big part of it for me--particularly since my mom was secretive about health issues (physical and mental) of hers and other family members. So MC or T being secretive is a bit triggering for me--particular with MC regarding his wife's health.