i don't want to hijack this post, so i'll quickly say what i think is a victim/survivor. as children we were victims ,we were dependent on our caregivers for our survival ,as adults we have to do our best to be aware of the messages of the past, especially the negative ones i hate the word victim given so popularly by 'experts' to people struggling to make sense of their own lives, i much prefer the term survivor. someone asked me last week do i think we ever heal our wounds? my answer- i don't know. i think it has to do with the acceptance of love in our lives ,firstly from ourselves- the hard bit, love from the creator ,whoever /whatever 'it' is, good friends and forums like these