I've done online dating with some relative success. There are no rules to first messages - if you are interested make contact. If they are interested they will answer you back. No response is more likely a matter of interest and not the fact that they wanted to message you first. The problem is that to find success you have to experience rejection. Men have always known this and just expect it, but I think it's fairly new to a lot of women. So when they don't have luck after messaging a few men, some women might feel defeated and tempted to give up, when it's really just part of the process.
In relation to texting and emailing, I think it should be kept to a minimum before going out. You can get to know each other too well and the thrill is gone before you've even gone out. Most people should be too busy to message that much anyway. To some, too much availability ends up being a turn off. Traditionally men pay, so while I'd always bring money and offer, the expectation is still (I believe) that the guy will usually pay. And as for interest - if someone is really interested, they will try to see you. Keep that in mind, always. That way you don't waste time - if they don't try to make a date relatively quickly, meaning after a day or so of a back and forth messaging, move on. Keep in mind that people are often messaging more than one person at first, which explains the abrupt way interactions can end, even after you've felt a connection. So don't take it personally and get discouraged. Everyone experiences rejection in online dating so you have to have a thicker skin and build your confidence if you can. I personally think the internet is a great way to meet people if you are safe about it and don't get too caught up in the online nature of it- meaning use it to be introduced to people and take it offline as soon as possible. The most successful people seem to do this and are use it very strategically. Have a plan, meet people, and practice. I was advised to meet up with people I wasn't so attracted to at first in order to build confidence. I did find it easier after a while and did have a couple of relationships.
Last edited by Lauliza; Dec 26, 2016 at 08:12 PM.
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